Does kratom really work? A report on kratom effects from a first-timer experiencing itDoes kratom really work? A report on kratom effects from a first-timer experiencing it
I wanted to know kratom’s benefits and effects and risks. Does kratom really work? Why do people take kratom? What should I expect? Is kratom safe or dangerous, stimulating or euphoric? We took some to find out.

At a Glance
- A man walks into a kava bar to try kratom.
- Experiential effects noted.
- Is the going up worth the coming down?
BOULDER, Colorado — Kratom is served in specialty shops, hipster non-alcoholic bars and dive head shops around the country.
We’ve been writing about this botanical supplement for years — everything from the science of the leaves of the Mitragyna speciosa tree’s active alkaloids to an FDA study concluding kratom is “well tolerated” to the new 7-OH products derived from kratom — and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. So, in the name of science, I visited a kava & kratom bar, an authentic, legit establishment — and consumed kratom beverages as elegantly concocted as from any coffee barista.
The Root Kava Bar here in Boulder was not quite the vibe of an alcohol bar, and not a coffee shop either. Kind of a community center in a way. Granted, there was a bar, as well as low-slung tables and couches. Dogs were welcome. Art was for sale on the walls. Music was flowing.
The place attracts the sober-curious and those looking for a hip gathering place to sip and chat. I went with my buddy Darrin. It was the first time for the both of us.
Owner Pat Irvine explained his establishment also serves “the in-between of those with anxiety or depression, some sort of physical pain, too. And it really does help.”
I suffered from none of those pre-existing ailments but did bring a cat’s worth of curiosity.
“Especially with our new customers,” Irvine said, “we definitely always have them take it easy the first time.”
I was presented with two noble concoctions. The shooter started with the kratom leaf that’s been turned into a dried powder. Then it sits in water before it’s strained and squeezed out. The sipper goes through a brewing process with citric acid and cinnamon.
After about 20 minutes, I felt a tingly sort of buzz. It wasn’t a caffeine jittery experience, but I could feel a fuzzy tingling in my hands. Sweaty palms. I thought my central nervous system was getting stimulated. A little heady. Consuming kratom is definitely an experience, like I’m not just drinking Kool-Aid. Definitely a buzz.
My buddy Darrin reported he felt “a bit of a caffeine thing but more euphoric, if that makes sense.”
“I think it’s making me less anxious actually,” he told me. “I’m not normal. It’s good for me, too, because now I won’t be hating on Millennials so much. I might start hanging out here.”
When I left the kava joint to drive home, I felt a few things all at once, including a little unsteady — not quite like I was drunk but just … wobbly. And I felt strangely heavy-lidded. Was I falling asleep? But it’s like 5 in the afternoon, I considered, and I’m not sure I should be operating heavy machinery right now. At the same time, I felt a little discombobulated in the gastrointestinal tract. Tight. Uneasy. I was glad to finally get home and not sure at the end of the day if the going up was worth the coming down.
Darrin said he hung around the place and downed a couple more kratom drinks. Clearly not listening to the owner’s advice to take it easy the first time, he said he drove home and promptly barfed all over his driveway. Maybe he had too much too fast.
He’s since gone back to that kava bar time and again and, with appropriate titration thusly learned the hard way, has not had any GI upset any more from the kratom. He said he ends his desk job with an occasional sore neck and drinks a kratom and the pain goes away. He does report a cautionary message that he feels the pull of an addictive quality to it, so he takes it easy with the kratom and takes regular breaks.
Kratom from the refrigerator
I also thought I’d sample a different type of kratom, namely an RTD beverage from the Mitra brand.
When I drank the kratom seltzer one afternoon, it certainly tasted good, a yummy tangerine flavor. After sipping on half a can for an hour, I noticed a certain dissipated attention.
I wasn’t exactly buzzed. I looked at the can and it did caution to not combine the product with alcohol (Red Bull this is not), nor should I drive or operate heavy machinery after consumption. That much I had already figured out driving home from the kava bar!
The kratom seltzer didn’t increase my focus or concentration like you’d experience with a cup of caffeine. Rather, it produced an energetic and unfocused sort of buzz. I had music playing in the background and it sounded good, though this was no cannabis buzz. I felt a bit like I was on a boat at sea.
I eased off the can and settled down, out of the wobbly part and into a heady fuzz space. It felt good to settle down. I then slammed the rest of the can. I felt like I could handle it after being in the quicksand.
Unfortunately, I again endured the same kind of digestive experience as when I was drinking at the kava joint. Less than jake.
Kratom from the head shop
A few days later, I went out to one of those seedy kratom shops that populate the outer burbs far afield from gentrified Boulder. I walked in and it resembled your basic head shop — festooned with bongs and bowls and all the normal paraphernalia you would find, along with the curious addition of knives and brass knuckles. Um, sketch?
The large majority of the stuff behind the counter was nicotine for vapes, but the shop did display a tidy little kratom collection with powders, capsules and even shots. I picked up a shot and a serving of two capsules.
The two capsules from OPMS — Optimized Plant Mediated Solutions gold botanical extract — contained 200 mg each. That amounted to 84 mg of the mitragynine alkaloid content.
As we previously reported, the Naturopathic Physicians Medical Board’s fact sheet for kratom says kratom products should contain less than 66% of mitragynine as the main alkaloid and 2% of 7-OH. This OPMS supplement contained 42% mitragynine and less than 0.1% 7-OH. Sounded safe to me.
OPMS sounded familiar to me. That brand was the subject of an FDA warning, as we reported in July, albeit the FDA consumer advisory regarded OPMS Black Liquid Kratom, not the gold botanical extract before my eyes.
One could say I was on thin ice, but the adverse events reports tied to kratom almost always feature a bolus of other bioactive ingredients, usually scheduled drugs. I was just taking one pill, as directed.
I took mine at 4:07 p.m., clean and sober, and took the dog for a walk.
I forgot about having taken the kratom while on the dog walk through the snow, but by the time I got home a half hour later, I remembered. I got out my phone and doom-scrolled for a spell … then dozed off. Does that count as a kratom effect, an hour and a half after having popped the pill?
Later on, as I was Netflix and chilling, I again felt that kratomesque stomach discomfort. It kind of reminded me of that time I was taking Percocet for a week, or the first time I tried 5-hour Energy, and I took two bottles. There was a tightness in my stomach that wouldn’t let me go to sleep. No bueno.
Let it be known that I’m not a coffee guy, so those times when I do take a Red Bull or some other caffeinated product, I definitely feel it. Maybe I’m sensitive to these things. Maybe too sensitive.
It took a long while until I finally slipped into a fitful sleep from the kratom capsule.
Kratom shots, anyone?
At the head shop, I also picked up that shot of Kryptic Kratom. It comes in the same 2.0-fluid-ounce container as 5-hour Energy. You know the ones.
The Kryptic Kratom relaxation shot contained a 490-milligram dose of a proprietary blend of kratom (amounting to 10% mitragynine) along with a few herbs typically used for rest and relaxation, like valerian, passionflower and poppy.
“Hurry up and relax,” said the shot.
Given my universal experiences so far, which included a slight buzz but a more significant gastrointestinal grievance, I nonetheless cracked the seal from that shot and sniffed it.
There wasn’t much of an aroma, though the shot’s lip revealed traces of a kind of green pond scum. Which was fine; I take spirulina, my morning smoothies track between green and purple. So I closed the shot, gave it a good shake, then opened it again.
I passed it to my dog, a Dudley Lab with a Shar Pei nose that can sniff a rabbit from the brush at 100 feet. Her bodacious schnoz quivered and quaked. Her whiskers clutched at herself. She looked up at me, then looked askance.
I think she was on to something. I re-corked that shot — looking askance as well. I could feel my gut relax, knowing it was not about to go 10 rounds, not even with a Mike Tyson pushing 60.
But hey, life is long, and maybe one day through misfortune a doc will get me hepped up on prescription opioids, and I’ll need a natural remedy to get off the stuff.
Short of that, though, Imma pass on kratom.
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